PTSD - Chapter 5

And suddenly it's the day of the wedding.

You wake up groggy and confused, and confused as to why you're confused. Then you remember - Jade spent the night at Rose's, and John's crashing on your couch. Some stupid tradition or something, he's not supposed to see her until she walks down the aisle or some kind of bullshit like that. All it really means is that you have to make your own coffee today.

You haul yourself out of bed and shuffle towards the kitchen, filling the coffeemaker and flipping the switch. John's curled into a tiny ball on one end of the couch - you flop down at the other, and when that doesn't wake him, you yank off his blanket. "Wake up, Egbert. Time to get married."

John grumbles for a moment, then his eyes snap open. "Holy shit." He sits up, hair even more of a mess than usual. "Dave... I'm getting married. In a couple hours."

You tilt your head back. "Yeah." It's way too early in the morning for you to try and deal with his nervous breakdown. "So you'd better do something about your hair and get your ass in a suit."

"Haha, yeah." He runs a hand through his hair, and winces. "I barely slept a wink. You?"

"Slept like a baby," you quip, "woke up every half hour crying and shitting myself. Go get all prettied up, Mister Lalonde."

The pillow hits you square in the face. "You are the worst best man ever. That's not how it works and you know it."

"In this case, hell yes it is."

"... Maybe." He stands and stretches, yawning hugely. "I'm gonna use your shower, if you don't mind."

"Hey, more coffee for me." You're a little faster at dodging the pillow this time - it only clips you on the ear. "Alright, alright! Yeesh, no sense of humor."

"Not on my wedding day." And he stops and his eyes go blank for a moment. "Dave-"

You're up and pushing him bodily into the bathroom. "Uh-uh. No flipping out until after the service when it's Rose's problem. Go get your shower."

~~~~~

You and John pull up to the house with an hour to spare, at least. So why are there so many people here? And why are so many of them gray... with... horns?

The nearest one turns to you. "Dave?"

There's a flash of red and suddenly a pair of skinny yet strong arms are wrapped around your midsection. "Dave! I thought I smelled something cherry-red besides me!" You look down at a pair of short, pointed horns sticking out of a head of black hair.

"Terezi?"

The head tilts up to reveal bright red glasses and a grin full of fangs. "Who else, Coolkid McDumbass?" She sticks out her tongue, then sniffs curiously. "But... you're not the cherry-red... it's..."

She starts gravitating towards Anita, and you pull her back by the collar of her red dress. "Oh no you don't. There is no way in hell you're getting tongue-marks on my car."

"But Daaave! It's so pretty! Just one lick, pleeease?"

"Absolutely not. What the hell are you doing here, anyway?"

She pouts. "Magic. Kanaya and Jade worked something up to get us all here. Did you really think we'd miss the wedding of two of our favorite aliens?" Someone else is approaching - Karkat, looking extremely uncomfortable in a suit.

"Yeah, and Miss Meddlesome decided we all needed new outfits for the occasion too." He tugs at his dark bluish-green tie. Something's niggling at the back of your mind - then it hits you, and you grin.

"Vantas, you dog."

A reddish flush rises in his gray cheeks. "What. It's nothing! Kanaya made me wear this!"

"Yeah, and I'm sure it's totally a coincidence that she put Terezi in red, isn't it." All this time, and he's still as easy to rile up as ever.

"Yeah! Terezi likes red! Tell him, Terezi!"

The troll girl at your side grins and saunters over to him. "It's true, red is my very... favorite... color." She licks his cheek, from chin to temple, then kisses it.

You're afraid you'll laugh yourself sick. "I knew it! How long have you two been together?"

Terezi wraps herself around Karkat's arm. "A sweep or two, I guess? Right, Karkat?"

He's very red now, and mutters, "Sweep and a half. About three of your years."

"I don't get why you're so embarrassed about this, Karkat. Are you ashamed to be seen with me? Is that it?" Her lower lip quivers, and you know she has to be working up a good set of crocodile tears behind those glasses.

"What?! No! Of course not! It's just-"

You clear your throat. "As much as I'm enjoying this lovely example of domesticity, did either of you notice where the groom wandered off to?" You haven't seen him since this conversation started.

Terezi shrugs, and Karkat points over to the side of the house, where the ceremony's going to be. "I think he went that way."

You thank him and head in that direction, only to be intercepted by Jade. "Dave, finally!"

"Hey, Jade." You cough a bit. "You look really pretty." Damn, what are you, ten?

But she just blushes and smiles, looking down at her pale purple dress. "Thanks. It's more Rose's color than mine, but-"

"You still look gorgeous." That's a little better, but also causes both of you to blush and avoid each other's eyes for seventy-two seconds.

She speaks first. "I came looking for you because Rose wants to talk to you. She's up in her room with a couple of the others."

You nod. "I'll talk to Rose if you find John and smack him for me. He's kind of nervous."

She grins. "Can do. See you back here for the ceremony? You still have to walk me up the aisle."

"Wouldn't miss it for anything."

~~~~~

You climb the stairs and stand awkwardly outside the door for a moment before knocking. "Rose? It's me, Dave."

"Come in!" a voice - not Rose's - calls.

You step into the room and shut the door behind you. "Hey, Kanaya. Vriska."

Vriska, lounging on the bed, raises her head. "Hey yourself, Strider." She flops back down, kicking her feet up. She's wearing a black suit, with a purple rose pinned at her lapel. But her tie and vest are both dark emerald green. She's still wearing her bright red sneakers, which are now getting dirt on Rose and John's sheets.

Kanaya sighs. "You're going to wrinkle, dear." At Vriska's snort she shakes her head and smiles a little. She's in the same purple dress Jade was wearing, but with bright blue bows at her waist and in her hair. She's standing behind Rose, who's seated in front of her mirror. The troll girl is arranging her veil, and you can't see your sister's face.

"What's with the suit, Vriska?"

"I'm John's - whadaya call 'em? Groom's man. Even though I'm a girl. Because I'm his faaaaaaaavorite, he just looooooooves me, didn't you know?"

"And I'm a bridesmaid. I hear you're his best man?" Kanaya smooths Rose's veil delicately. Your sister still hasn't said a word.

"Yep. Now, if you two don't mind, could I have a minute alone with the bride?"

Vriska hauls herself up from the bed, and Kanaya picks up her bouquet of blue and purple flowers. As they reach the door, Kanaya turns back. "Now Rose, you know I love you dearly, but if anything happens to that dress I will eviscerate you." Vriska rolls her eyes, grabs Kanaya's hand, and pulls her out the door, shutting it on the sound of their laughter.

You take Kanaya's place, at Rose's back, and place your hands on her shoulders. She smiles, a bit thinly, behind the veil, and one hand reaches up to touch yours. "It really is a beautiful dress. Kanaya did an amazing job."

"Yeah. You look gorgeous." Rose turns in the chair, and you move to sit at the foot of the bed.

"And you and Jade, arranging everything - it's all perfect. Thank you so much."

You squirm just a bit. "It wasn't a problem at all. You two deserve it."

"Thanks. I'm just worried - something will screw up, in the ceremony, or after - there'll be a fight at the reception, or-"

"Hey, hey now, it's okay." You decide to risk it, lifting her veil so you can see her face clearly - and yup, those are tears welling up. "What's wrong? Really wrong, not just this nervousness thing."

She takes a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm just worried that... that I won't be good for him. I've seen the way bad marriages turn out, I've seen how bitter and cruel my mother can be, and I can't do that to him, I'd never forgive myself if I hurt him, oh God..."

You pull out your handkerchief and dab gently at the tears spilling down her cheeks. "Hey, calm down. You two are great for each other - do you think I'd let you get married if you weren't?" She snorts inelegantly, taking the handkerchief with the most quavering smile you've ever seen. "You are two of the three most important people in my life, and you make each other happy. That's enough. And I don't think either of you could hurt the other even if you tried - you're that annoyingly perfect for each other, okay?" Another giggle - you seem to be on the right track. "It's a little disgusting, the way you two are so damn cute all the fucking time." Your tone turns serious. "You've got everything going for you, don't throw it away in a moment of indecision. I know you guys will be amazing."

She takes a deep breath. "Thanks, Dave."

A soft "aww" comes from the direction of the door, and you both whip around to look. Kanaya, Vriska and Jade are peering around the doorframe, one on top of another like a totem pole. Kanaya and Jade have both clapped their hands over Vriska's mouth, so it's clear who made the incriminating sound.

You and Rose look at each other and burst into half-hysterical laughter.

~~~~~

You're standing by the back corner of the house, waiting for the ceremony to start. John's lurking around still, and finally you take his arm and bodily drag him to the arch where he and Rose will do their thing. "You stay here," you say, "and me and Rose will come to you. And for fuck's sake, calm down already. It's a wedding, not a fucking firing squad."

There's an awkward cough, and you turn and grin sheepishly. "Uh, hey Reverend."

He gives you a mildly disapproving look. "If we could begin." It's not a question.

You glance around - everyone's in their seats, the girls are waiting around the corner for you. "Uh, yeah. Just give me a minute to take my place." You almost bolt back to the safety of the other side of the house, and the wedding march starts to play.

Rose has come down, and she looks amazing. You tell her so, and she smirks. "Thanks to Kanaya. You'd never know I was crying my eyes out fifteen minutes ago."

Kanaya blushes, and tugs Vriska's arm. "It's our turn." They turn the corner and start down the aisle, but not before Vriska presses a kiss behind her girlfriend's (matesprit's?) pointed ear.

You turn to Jade. "Huh. Always thought so." You hold out your arm, ever the gentleman.

Jade rolls her eyes and takes the arm you offer. She turns back to Rose. "You ready?"

"No, but don't remind me of that. Go on, get." She makes a feeble shooing motion with her bouquet. You turn and walk down the aisle.

It's a bit awkward, to say the least. Everyone's staring with these smiles pasted on their faces, and Terezi mouths "Hi Dave!" as you pass. She, Karkat and the rest of the trolls are sitting together in the front row of one side, while John's dad, Rose's mom and your bro have the other. You know that your families know about the game, but have to wonder what John and Rose's colleagues think of these strange horned gray people at a wedding. Hopefully they'll just think it's some bizarre fashion statement and leave it at that.

You (finally!) reach the arch, and separate. You stand next to Vriska and slightly behind John, while Jade takes her place by Kanaya. The wedding march changes tempo, and Rose rounds the corner.

You hear a soft gasp, and look over. It's John, and he looks... enthralled. Like the sun just came out after weeks of rain. Like his first breath of fresh air after spending years trapped and slowly choking. His eyes are glued to Rose, and at any other time you'd never let him live this down.

But... fuck it, he's happy, you're happy, everyone's happy. Let's have a wedding.

~~~~~

The ceremony is simple and sweet, but still on the stressful side. Your part could be performed by a severely retarded chimp, and yet there's still the thrill of fear as you're asked for the rings and reach into your pocket. Oh god please don't let them have fallen out or been forgotten at home and of course they weren't.

Two simple bands of white gold, the larger plain, the smaller with a subtle floral engraving. But it's what's inside that's special. Inside John's ring is carved "You are my Light", and inside Rose's is "You are my Breath". So sweet even thinking about it is giving you a toothache.

Rings are exchanged, and even the woods are quiet as the couple say their vows.

"I, John Martin Egbert, take you, Rose Marie Lalonde..."

"I, Rose Marie Lalonde, take you, John Martin Egbert..."

"To be my spouse, to have and to hold..."

"To honor and cherish..."

"For better or worse..."

"In sickness and health..."

"All the days of my life."

They kiss.

Friends and family erupt in cheering and applause. There is absolutely nothing even remotely like a tear in your eye, as such a thing would be pathetic and uncool to the highest degree.

You catch Jade's eye, and mouth, "Vegas?" She giggles and buries her face in her bouquet, brown eyes sparkling.

~~~~~

Five years later...

You're bowled over by two rather sticky cannonballs. "Uncle Dave!"

"Hey, brats. Where's your parents?"

"Mama's inside, Daddy's out back." Josie, four years old and utterly independent, flips her dark hair over her shoulder. "But who cares! Aunt Jade was supposed to bring us presents!"

"Yeah, presents!" Ron agrees, mumbling around his thumb - he's two and a half, agreeing is his favorite thing to do.

"Where is Aunt Jade, anyway?"

"I'm right here." Your wife shuts the car door with her hip, as her arms are full of bags. "Who wants presents?"

"Me! Me! Me!"

"Well then," you say, prying tiny hands from your pant legs, "go get Mom and Dad and we'll meet in the living room. Deal?"

The children race off to their parents, chanting "presents, presents!" You sigh and put your arm around Jade's waist. "Every time you mention kids, I almost say yes - and then we come for a visit."

"You love them and you know it, you just like to complain. Here, carry this one, it's heavy." You obligingly take the bag, and nearly drop it.

"Jesus! Is this the-"

"Yup. From Equius. He's surprisingly good at kids' stuff, despite being... well, you know. Him."

"Well next time, tell him to make it a little lighter. God-"

You reach the living room, where the kids are bouncing excitedly on the couch between their parents.

"-in heaven, this is a big present!" You set it down on the table, and pull out two small robots. The larger one has Josie's pigtails and a metal facsimile of her favorite dress, and the smaller has its thumb in its mouth and a tiny metal bunny, just like Ron's. "Programmed by Uncle Solly and build by Uncle Ecky. They say they hope you like them!"

Josie pokes hers curiously. "What do they do?"

"Well, remember when I told you about the dreambot I had when I was little?" Jade says. "These are kinda like that, except you can play with them when you're awake too. Try it - imagine her turning her head or raising her arm."

Josie squints at the robot for a minute, and then, ever so slowly, it lifts its arm and waves at her. The real girl grins and claps her hands. "I did it!"

A sudden noise makes you all turn to look at Ron and his robot. It's flying in circles around his head, arms out like Superman. He's giggling and rocking back and forth, watching the robot's circles intently. He reaches up to touch the rocket exhaust, and John snatches the robot out of the air.

"He actually put rockets on these things? Is he insane?!" John tosses the little metal robot between his hands. "Holy cow, that's hot!"

Ron frowns, and the robot ignites again, The boy mentally maneuvers it back to the table, setting it down gently. "Sorry, Daddy."

Rose hugs her son. "It's okay. I think, as long as you two promise to never ever touch them with your hands, and always wait until me or Daddy are watching, then you can play with them all you want. Okay?"

"Kay!" The kids are too enthralled by their new toys to object to any restrictions.

John sticks a burnt finger in his mouth. "What else you got?"

"The usual, clothes from Kanaya, movies from Karkat-"

"Beep beep, meow!" the family choruses. That one annoys the hell out of him, even now.

"- a couple games from Vriska, nothing deadly. Oh, Terezi threw in a few dragon plushies and scales."

"Dragon scales, can I see?" Terezi is Josie's favorite aunt at the moment - she swears she's gonna grow up to be a dragon tamer, but you're pretty sure she's just in it for the shiny things. You fish out a scale and she oohs and aahs to her little heart's content.

You finish unpacking the bags and stand aside, watching the kids play with their new toys. Jade comes up beside you and wraps her arms around you, smiling a little fondly.

"Sure you don't want kids?"

"Weeell," you drawl, the hand at her hip creeping down slowly, "I'm always up for trying."

You get a halfhearted smack for your troubles. "David! Behave."

"Yes ma'am. Whatever you say." Your grin turns lecherous. "Anything you say." You dodge the second smack.

~~~~~

Time passes, as it always has. The ticking in your head never goes away, but now it marks out the intervals that you cherish. Time is more than its inevitable passage and life is more than just what brought you to this point.

It's what you do with it - your time and your life - that matter.

You haven't touched a drink in five years.

You never will again.